I realize this post has been MIA for the last month. So I'm sorry for the un-connected feeling you've been having from the Kristin Connection.
I've been putting all my eggs into one basket lately, and that basket is called "I'm Obsessed With My Fitness Pal". Like, seriously. I've been counting calories and walking/jogging/running my a$$ off for the past 2 months. Naturally, I'm exhausted by the time I make it home in the evenings and I can't process what I want for dinner, much less what I want to write about.
I started this blog to have an outlet for my stress of all things miscarriagey. It's been eight months since the last one so obviously there really hasn't been much to talk about...until yesterday.
I've basically been avoiding my fertility doctor like the plague. After Number Four, I resigned from all things pregnancy. No more temperatures, no more counting days, just no more of any of it. I learned to block it all out and pretty much have taken on the mantra, "it'll either happen or it won't".
Friday I ran out of my folic acid supplement so I had to call his office for a refill. Since he was out of the office, I had to wait until Monday. Monday afternoon I had 2 voicemails. One was from a nurse letting me know she had sent the prescription in. The other was from Dr. Edelstein telling me to call him...he wants to talk. Aw lawd.
It's like seeing somebody you don't like in public...you avoid eye contact at all costs, then somehow the universe works it until you're standing in line with them and have no choice but to grin and bare it. (Side note: I could dedicate an entire post on the proper usage of "bear" and "bare". I don't know which one is correct in my usage of the phrase. I'm confidently going with "bare", as in, the person I don't like bares their ugly soul I'll just stand there and grin.)
I waited until yesterday to call him back. He was quite annoyed that I had let 8 months pass me by with nothing to show for it. He's like, "Kristin, it's been 3 years. It's time to make something happen". And I'm all like, "not to be rude, but what is there to make happen? You've tested me and there's no definite reason for my miscarriages, what's left that any of us can do?" <----because really, in my mind, there is nothing that anybody can do in my situation. Then he throws out the big guns. "Ohhh, there are several options".
Options? And my interest was piqued. He went on to explain that the more he studied my history, he feels like I may have a tubular issue. (Pregnancy happens, just in the wrong place. An explanation for why I've never seen a decent blob on the ultrasound). I asked him if he meant IVF (In vitro fertilization) and he said, "that, among other things". Among other things?! My mind was blown. I've never allowed myself to think that there could be alternate ways around my issue because I've never understood my issue.
I've pretty much gone 8 months blocking all this stuff from my mind to 2 days of thinking of nothing else. Planting a pregnancy in my uterus would bypass my tubes altogether. Which could work. If that's the problem. I could also spend THOUSANDS. I said, THOUSANNNNDDSSSS of dollars on this procedure, get pregnant, and lose it all over again. Gah! It would mean medicines and poking and probing and trips up and down the road BUT it could get me something that I've been denied since my very first pregnancy.
I hadn't fully thrown away the towel but the towel had started unraveling. Now, I'm all about buying a sewing machine and fixin' it right on up because we have an appointment Tuesday! We might not have anything to show for our hard work the past few years but apparently, we got OPTIONS, baby.
**Stay tuned and I'll repost next week after my visit.
I've been putting all my eggs into one basket lately, and that basket is called "I'm Obsessed With My Fitness Pal". Like, seriously. I've been counting calories and walking/jogging/running my a$$ off for the past 2 months. Naturally, I'm exhausted by the time I make it home in the evenings and I can't process what I want for dinner, much less what I want to write about.
I started this blog to have an outlet for my stress of all things miscarriagey. It's been eight months since the last one so obviously there really hasn't been much to talk about...until yesterday.
I've basically been avoiding my fertility doctor like the plague. After Number Four, I resigned from all things pregnancy. No more temperatures, no more counting days, just no more of any of it. I learned to block it all out and pretty much have taken on the mantra, "it'll either happen or it won't".
Friday I ran out of my folic acid supplement so I had to call his office for a refill. Since he was out of the office, I had to wait until Monday. Monday afternoon I had 2 voicemails. One was from a nurse letting me know she had sent the prescription in. The other was from Dr. Edelstein telling me to call him...he wants to talk. Aw lawd.
It's like seeing somebody you don't like in public...you avoid eye contact at all costs, then somehow the universe works it until you're standing in line with them and have no choice but to grin and bare it. (Side note: I could dedicate an entire post on the proper usage of "bear" and "bare". I don't know which one is correct in my usage of the phrase. I'm confidently going with "bare", as in, the person I don't like bares their ugly soul I'll just stand there and grin.)
I waited until yesterday to call him back. He was quite annoyed that I had let 8 months pass me by with nothing to show for it. He's like, "Kristin, it's been 3 years. It's time to make something happen". And I'm all like, "not to be rude, but what is there to make happen? You've tested me and there's no definite reason for my miscarriages, what's left that any of us can do?" <----because really, in my mind, there is nothing that anybody can do in my situation. Then he throws out the big guns. "Ohhh, there are several options".
Options? And my interest was piqued. He went on to explain that the more he studied my history, he feels like I may have a tubular issue. (Pregnancy happens, just in the wrong place. An explanation for why I've never seen a decent blob on the ultrasound). I asked him if he meant IVF (In vitro fertilization) and he said, "that, among other things". Among other things?! My mind was blown. I've never allowed myself to think that there could be alternate ways around my issue because I've never understood my issue.
I've pretty much gone 8 months blocking all this stuff from my mind to 2 days of thinking of nothing else. Planting a pregnancy in my uterus would bypass my tubes altogether. Which could work. If that's the problem. I could also spend THOUSANDS. I said, THOUSANNNNDDSSSS of dollars on this procedure, get pregnant, and lose it all over again. Gah! It would mean medicines and poking and probing and trips up and down the road BUT it could get me something that I've been denied since my very first pregnancy.
I hadn't fully thrown away the towel but the towel had started unraveling. Now, I'm all about buying a sewing machine and fixin' it right on up because we have an appointment Tuesday! We might not have anything to show for our hard work the past few years but apparently, we got OPTIONS, baby.
**Stay tuned and I'll repost next week after my visit.
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