I really need to address something that has been grinding my gears for the past few weeks. It's gonna sound like I'm being bitchy and on my soap-box, but y'all should know me by now that I don't mean to offend anyone, I just have strong opinions. And they are just that; MY opinions. My opinion also goes into overdrive if that particular opinion is something close to me. Which this just happens to be. So, forgive me for stepping up on my bitchy soap-box for a minute.
Starting the IVF process is something that I never, in a million years, thought I would be going through. We may think we are choosing our own directions in life, but I'm a walking, talking advertisement for the case that never goes according to plan. No woman ever wants to go through any sort of infertility journey, whether it's a result of recurrent miscarriages, physical defects, or just can't conceive. It's not something we expected nor it is something that all women can understand unless you've been a victim of it.
I have heard just about all I want to hear from naysayers about couples who go through IVF to have a baby. Speaking as one half of one of those couples, I want to be very specific about something: we do not CHOOSE to have IVF. It is the only option that is available in order to have a child.
I don't think people realize that for most couples, it's not a decision. It's the only way. I'm not sure where the misconception has come from that IVF is a "bad" or "unnatural" thing. Are you kidding me? IVF is the saving grace for people like me. There are some that stubbornly declare that "IVF is never going to be an option" or "I'd rather have no children than a test-tube baby"...um, they work in Petri dishes, people. Get your facts straight. Then the people who like to say "that's a lot of money to pay for a baby". Well, you pay about that much for a brand new car, so, let's not get carried away. I'm not "paying for my baby". I'm paying specifically to have my husband's sperm put with my ovaries outside of my body then reinserted with a needle through my vagina and cervix and into my uterus.
I must say that none of these comments were made to me and that most people have been positive and supportive of us since day one. But I do hear and read these comments from people (who don't know I'm going through it) and it just rubs me the wrong way. Like if it were your first day on the job and you walked into a water cooler conversation about the horror of wearing brown socks and black shoes...and inwardly cringe at the fact that if you lifted your trousers, said water-cooler socialites would see your brown-on-black monstrosity.
It hurts your feelings to know people are talking junk about your decision. Your instinct is to defend it, right? Like, 'all your other socks were in the laundry'. Or, 'your dog took one black sock and hid it UNDER (in the middle of) your king-sized bed and you didn't have time to get the broom from God-knows where the broom is because really, who sweeps their house? (Other than Cinderella. And let's face it, she was a freaking over-achiever'.) There. Defended.
IVF is 100% allllll Kristin and 100% alllll Mike. We're just a little unconventional about the way we get the product 'home'. Who wouldn't try it? God wouldn't have made doctors who are smart enough to come up with this stuff if he didn't want people to have kids this way. I could understand it more if couples already had a child and didn't want to try for another one through IVF. But this is our attempt to get ONE child. Just one. The way we get a baby shouldn't be a secret. I'm not proud that I had faulty pipes, but I'm proud of the way we didn't let that set-back get in the way from us to continue to try.
There are tons of girls out there who are going through the same things that I went through and will continue to go through to get what they ultimately want. It's human nature to keep fighting for something that's been just out of your reach. No matter what route you take to get there, eventually, you'll grab it. IVF just happens to be my route and I wish there weren't so many party-poopers about it. There. I'm done.
I have one more cycle to go through before Round 1 begins. The past two months have flown by and I can't believe this will all be really happening, really soon. Many people have asked and believe me, if I hadn't had to go through it first-hand, I wouldn't have had the first clue about it. I'll try to give you the Reader's Digest version of what is going to happen with the first round.
1. When I get my period, I'll begin taking birth control pills. Insane, right? The pill will stop egg production.
2. After approximately two weeks on the pill, I'll stop it. Insane, right? I'll start injections (Yes. With needles. Into my stomach. OHEMGHEE.) The injections are basically medicines to make my ovaries stimulated--which causes lots of eggs to be produced.
3. I'll be monitored by blood tests and ultrasounds to determine egg maturity.
4. After my eggs have matured, I'll go in and have them taken out. (The eggs.) They take as many as they can get. They'll mix them with Mike's specimen and wait for fertilization.
5. I'll be monitored and when the time is right, the fertilized embryos will be directly inserted into my uterus.
6. We wait two weeks and hope for implantation. I'll take a pregnancy test to see if we were successful.
6 1/2. Since I've taken and gotten a positive pregnancy test four times before, I'll be on pins and needles to make it past the six week mark. This will be the true indicator that my problem was fixed and I can stay pregnant.
7. If it doesn't take, we'll wait a few months and restart.
This sounds really simple when I put it like this, but in fact, it's a seriously crazy process that is dependent on time and closely monitored hormone levels, blood work, faith, and a little bit of science. It will truly be an experience and take much effort from a number of people.
(And I mean the people who are up to bat for making this work. Not the people who say mean things about it whose eye lashes I'd like to pluck off and burn inside a test tube. I mean, a petri dish.)
