Tender Meat

I know I've been keeping you all in suspense. It's officially "after the first of the year". Has she done it? Is she pregnant?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!!!!?

Did you not listen to me after the last post?! I can't tell you that. I have to keep a tight-lip about this very sensitive, last portion, MOST important part of the entire IVF process. I can't jinx it! I know it's frustrating because this has literally been an ongoing drama for the past 3 1/2 years not just for me, but for you too. I'm just as anxious to know the end result of this season's show as much as you are. 

When I first started writing, it was strictly for selfish reasons. It was therapy for me. It also was an outlet for me to let people know details of my situations so that they wouldn't have to awkwardly ask me what was going on and I wouldn't have to awkwardly respond. (Here's the link to my very first blog post). As I've grown through this ordeal, it's more about YOU than me. People, especially women, should NOT be afraid to talk about infertility, no matter what form it comes in. It shouldn't be an awkward topic. People need to UNDERSTAND infertility and learn about their options for treating it rather than whispering about it behind backs of others' just because you don't want to seem insensitive. 

I can't believe I just lumped myself with the word, "INFERTILITY". I was so offended when I first got referred to the Fertility Institute because if there is one thing we've clearly learned from my female bits is that, bitches, I'm pretty fertile! When I first started researching 'recurrent miscarriages' and kept seeing 'infertility' within the same paragraph, it was a hard pill to swallow. As time has gone by, I've broadened my understanding in that 'infertility' covers any couple who is, for whatever reason, not able to conceive on their own. (Here is my post about when my mystery was finally solved. Here is the first post about IVF, for I know some of you are new followers and don't want to scroll back that far!) 

I'm at the point where I'm PROUD to have that label attached to my name. Y'all, going through IVF is not for the weak. I (and Mike, actually) read so many forums online about different issues, symptoms, and topics from other couples going through the same thing and you wouldn't believe how whiny and dramatic some people are about their experience. If I get whiny and dramatic, then you have my written permission to slap me. (Okay, let's just extend that invitation only if I get whiny. Me and dramatic are too close of friends to let that be a determining slap-factor). 

You can't be a wuss and you can't be a pessimist if you are finding it hard to conceive. There's no time. Do what the DOCTORS tell you, and even though I consider myself one, you can't let me tell you what to do either. Do what they say, because they know best, and just suck. it. up. If you haven't been to a doctor yet, then GO. There's nothing wrong with asking questions! So what if your first, or second, or even third attempts don't work. Monica from Friends (the actress, not the character, although ironically, Monica and Chandler had infertility issues...) had eight miscarriages and was NEVER diagnosed with any problem. She was like, 50, when she had her kid. But she had it. On. Her. OWN. There is time and there are doctors and there are procedures for basically every problem out there. Hang in there. Don't be a wimp. 

I still won't tell you when I'm having the transfer (or have I already done it?!!) and I probably will follow the legendary 3-month wait to announce if I DO end up pregnant, but I can tell you what is going on before that. Here is the daily cocktail before a FET (frozen embryo transfer):

*Regular prenatal vitamin

*Folic acid supplement

*Baby aspirin 

*Estradiol (estrogen, 3 times a day)

*Antibiotic (twice a day)

*mild steroid (twice a day)

*Progesterone in oil injection, in the rear, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. (This will be done even AFTER a confirmed pregnancy to continue to support the lining of the uterus.)

Basically, I'm the healthiest person on the planet. 

I posted about the shots I was taking before the egg retrieval. And I spoke too soon. I wasn't prepared for the insanity that is the nightly shot I'm doing now. Because the medicine is in oil, it's a thicker needle and it takes longer to inject. We have to alternate cheeks each night and I pretty much have a heating pad glued to my backside 24/7. My rear is black and blue and green and yellow. I'd post a pic but I just don't think y'all are ready for all that. Kim Kardashian broke the internet because people wanted to see her butt. I'm pretty sure I'd break the internet because people would be trying to escape the sight. Butt seriously though, (bahahahahaha!), we are troopers and are moving right along, scary needles and all. Medicines and shots and raging hormones will be worth it if it gets us what we want. I'll leave you with a pic (not a rear-view) that clearly shows how badass we infertiles are!