I'd like to start tonight's post by reminding my readers that I'm a girl...therefore, most things I post are girly and may not be suitable for boys' eyes. You've been warned.
As a follow-up, I'd like to report the the Jergen's Express lotion did NOT in fact turn me tangerine. I put it on consecutively for 3 days, then skipped a day and resumed. My arms and legs are actually a decent color considering I don't think I've seen the sun in fifty-leven days. I wish I'd have taken before/after pictures so I could share, but you'll just have to take my word for it. I'd show you my midsection in comparison to my limbs but I'll spare you the nauseum.
Speaking of nauseum, I'm trying very hard not to be 'hyper-aware Kristin' this week. For the past 5 months, I've been able to track my period and temperatures like clockwork. Since the latest miscarriage last month and considering I bled for like 2 weeks (which is a total exaggeration but hey, who's counting?) I have no idea when I'm supposed to start. If I count days since the first day of my last period, it should be anytime now. Usually, I dread my period like the plague because I know that in addition to the physical pain, it's also just a representation of another month gone by that I'm not pregnant. This time, yes, I admit, I'm actually looking forward to it. I know I spoke major crap about it and call me a giant hypocrit...but I totally miss my reliable relationship with my basal thermometer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I stopped taking my temps when I found out I was pregnant last month so I have to wait until the first day of my period to start again for it to be accurate. Even though I'm a total expert at reading mucus (now THAT is just sad, seeing that in print) and knew when I was ovulating each month, I like the dependability of checking my temperature and logging it into my trusty app on a daily basis. Call me psycho, but it made me feel like I was accomplishing something or working towards a goal. I mean, let's face facts. I started the thermometer in January and was pregnant at the end of March. Don't forget that we get the "BADASS" award for GETTING pregnant. As I posted last week, I am doing a stellar job at NOT thinking about pregnancy/miscarriages/babies/etc. I'm even handling the fact that I've gotten invited to not one, not two, but FOUR. FOUR! baby showers in the month of May. The baby-making water around here is as rare as peach-cobbler moonshine for me, apparently. Our appointment is still for Monday after next and people have been asking me "what will they do?" Here is my answer: I have no idea. It's the first time I've been to a fertility doc so I'm assuming it'll be questions and questions and more questions. If anything, they'll take my blood. It's all just a "hurry up and wait" sitch. Story of my life!
This morning during class, one of my students came to me and whispered in my ear, "Mrs. Peebles-I gotta go. I started my period". I gave her a hug and sent her on her merry way to the nurse. I wanted to cry for her. I checked on her a little while later and the nurse told me that she was the 5th child to come to her this morning with the same issue! All 5 started their periods for the first time today. Please take a moment of silence at this moment to pray for them. Dear God, bless their hearts, ovaries, and uteruses. May they not have the shit-show my girly bits have turned out to be in their menstrual futures!
Keep in mind that I teach 10 year-olds. The other 4 students were in 4th grade!!!!!!! Holy hormones. I started my glorious womanhood at the end of the 6th grade, so I was twelvish. As did most of my girlfriends, I think. I remember it was a Friday and I had a friend come home with me for a sleepover. We were at my Mammaw's house (she had a daycare there) so we were playing/watching the kids in her backyard. I had to go to the little girls' room so I slipped into the kids' bathroom. I wiped...and I went, "Ew. Ahh?? EWAUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". I had basically the same reaction to sex for the first time. Lisa (my friend) already had hers so she was basically like, "MAN UP! DEAL WITH IT". Then the cramps started and it was a total raging bitch every month until the precious words "ortho-tri-cyclen" came into my vocabulary four years later...
I was 16. April 22, 2002 was when I turned in my V-card. I recently had that anniversary and I shared that fact with Mike who at this point, just accepts the crazy that I am. I had the same partner until I was 20. (If only he had kept the same partner during that time!!!!!! Bust.) I had picked out my wedding colors and I also had my children's names picked out. Don't judge me for my loss-of-virginity-age. I feel very strongly that it all depends on the situation, the people involved, and who you have to talk to about it. Luckily for me, I have a mama that I can talk to and who will tell me straight-up how something is. I am a responsible person and I knew that hey, boys don't get pregnant: girls do. If something like that happened, it was totally on me. I knew and understood the consequences. Unfortunately, nowadays so many young girls don't realize that and end up getting pregnant (and inadvertently making me miserable by doing so).
I was a religious pill-popper back then and would freak the flip out if I was even a day late. I prayed til my knees hurt that I wasn't pregnant. One time, I even confused my PMS symptoms with pregnancy and took a test in the faculty bathroom at SVCC in Keysville. When only one pink line showed up, I cried tears of joy. CRI-ED. Especially since I had found out the week before that my long-time boyfriend of 4 years had only been dating me for 1. It has been eleven years since then and it is insanely amazing how much of a U-turn my thoughts have taken towards that subject. My knees are hurting now from praying for the complete opposite of my prayer that day in the SVCC bathroom. If it worked for me then, I'm pretty positive it will work for me now.
I've shared with you before that since I've been blogging, I've had so many people (strangers, old friends, new friends, etc.) share with me their similar stories or stories of people they know that have gone through the same thing I'm going through (and they ended with success!). These stories and experiences keep me going! I'd like to think we are in a cool new club or sisterhood or something. I'm on Pinterest and my favorite thing to do on it is pin quotes. The following are for all the women who have shared their stories with me! Thank you for reading. Thank you for praying. Thank you for supporting!
Be First to Post Comment !
Post a Comment