Okay y'all. I've had 3 boys tell me they made it into 2 paragraphs of my blog and had to stop reading. I politely tried to warn you in my last post that while I'm an equal opportunity blogger, some of the population isn't going to stomach reading my posts. 'Some of the population' meaning: all males in general. This is my official disclaimer: Please don't read any further if reading the words "period" or "uterus" makes you giggle or queasy.
Yesterday was our first visit to a fertility specialist. One of the coolest things I learned was they are going to do a test the next time I get my period in which they dye my uterus neon-blue to see if it's working properly. Sorry I threw that out there...but I wanted to make sure my stubborn readers who disregarded my disclaimer were paying attention. With that being said, I'll give you a second to close out the screen.
For you braver souls who can handle my female parts lingo, I'll continue. Mike & I had no idea what to expect from this visit. When you hear "fertility", we think of people who are having issues becoming pregnant. Since that isn't our case, we weren't sure what the deal would be. Let me just say this: if you love to people watch, ditch the malls and Wal-Mart and hit up your local fertility clinic. Those who know us KNOW that Team Peebles can't do anything seriously. We are sitting in the waiting room and the only other couple there is an older black couple. And by older I mean like early 50s. Obviously, I'm no genius. However, it doesn't take one to realize that hey, if you're approaching menopause, it may be the reason you can't get pregnant. If you can't get off the sofa in the waiting room without the help of a cane, you may be too old to get pregnant. What do I know, though. Abraham and Sarah had a kid when she was like 90. There may still be hope. (Um, was her name Sarah? Probably shouldn't be spitting out Jesus references until I verify.) Every person who walked through the door while we were waiting we...snickered like little kids. (Which could be the reason why we don't have one yet.) Not because we were making fun of them, because we totally weren't. We were just making up funny, fake scenarios for why they were visiting a fertility office. We especially had a field day for a sort of bum- looking guy who brought in a mini-cooler...like the ones the fat kids take on field trips...I mean, there's only so many things one could bring in a COOLER. To a FERTILITY specialist.
Anyway, I really like our doctor, who is very mild-mannered and sympathetic, extremely knowledgeable and accomplished, and also Jewish, which is super cool because I've never met an official one before. (Other than Seth Meyers from SNL Weekend Update and the most famous Jew of all, Jerry Seinfeld.) He basically got a sheet of white paper and listed all the possible medically known causes for miscarriages. There are 10. I won't bore you with them all. Bless his heart, he was trying to "dumb it down" for us, yet he didn't know he was dealing with the Google Master of "recurrent miscarriage" searches. I was totally impressed with myself because I had read about all the things he listed! Not to toot my own horn or anything. Toot toot.
All of the reasons could be tested by blood with the exception of one. That's the uber awesome procedure where he's going to light up my uterus with glow-in-the-dark dye to check for working parts. He showed me pictures of this. When I first sat down at his desk, I thought to myself, "why does he have children's books in that basket?" Then half-way through his chat he whipped out the 'children's books' and opened them up to the diagram section--of vaginas and glow-in-the-dark uteruses. (or is it 'uterii'??) Side note: Really?! Girl parts look like bulls. What sick joker was in charge of choosing the University of Texas' mascot? The Longhorn was all I could see while trying to keep a straight face during this sweet, Jewish man's presenation of glow-stick cookahs. See the image below for reference.
In a nut shell, this is an analogy of my situation...
Think of high school. There is always that nerdy, crazy smart person who is almost on another level of intelligence. He's a big fish in a little pond. Then he goes to a highly acclaimed college where there are hundreds of crazy smart people just like him. Now he's the small fish in a big pond. This is how I am now...at my ob-gyn's office (high school), I was "special" because of my MCs. Now, I'm at a "college" where everybody is pretty much like me. My new doctor thinks that even with 3, there's probably not anything wrong with me and that they happened by chance. He even classified my first 2 as "chemical pregnancies" because they ended so quickly into the pregnancy. My third is actually a "miscarriage" because we easily identified the pregnancy on an ultrasound. He said 1 out of every 3 women experience miscarriages at some point and they just don't realize it. Think about every late period you've had. It could've been stress causing the delay or it could've been a pregnancy. I'm just a lucky person because I'm able to tell when my body is late and can therefore take a test to detect the pregnancy.
They sent me to Labcorp for bloodwork with an order of 9 tests! They took 7 (yes, SE-VEN) tubes of blood. I convinced myself the lady taking it was feeding a family of nice vampires so I felt like I was doing my good deed for the day. The tests should either detect or rule out lupus, diabetes, chromosome issues, abnormal thyroid, infection, etc. Mike did bloodwork as well to check for chromosome problems, yet that is a ridiculously slim chance of being the problem, according to Adam Sandler's jewish uncle, my doctor. We have the all-clear to keep trying as much as we want, unprotected. We're shooting for pregnancy by the end of summer, so cross your fingers, toes, arms, elbows, legs, ankles, and eyes for us. Team Peebles is staying positive, encouraged, and most definitely, staying BUSY ;)
