Holy procrastination, it's March!! Surprisingly (or not so surprising, if you know me ;), it's been 2 months since my last post. This is not for a lack of wanting to, mind you. I've been in the same situation in the last few weeks--either hog-crazy or bummed out with anxiousness. Yes, I just said "hog crazy". No, I do not know where that came from or what it means.
To catch you up and to get all up in yo face with TMI, I've had 2 spectacularly normal periods since December. As soon as my next period starts, I have to call the doc and schedule an appointment for re-evaluation. This will include him analyzing my temperature charts and sex/ovulation schedules. Since I am a seasoned expert in both of these things, I could easily give any OB-GYN a run for his or her money. However, I do have some complaints for the person who invented, created, or just imagined up these truly craptastic inventions or "conception theories". First, basal temperature charting is ridiculous and a complete a waste of time for the not-so math inclined. My charts look like the veins in the legs of my old music teacher from elementary school. If you had Mrs. Gee, YOU KNOW. You KNOW! There is no consistency. One n-th degree change makes my chart look like a map for the floor of the ocean with its hills, trenches, and flat plains. On top of that, the "jump" you are supposed to wait for happens only AFTER ovulation has occured!!! OMG. I need an inner GPS voice that tells me throughout the day in a crisp, clear British voice: "Ovulation occuring" or "Have sex in 1.5 to 24 hours" I'll even take a "Recalculating"--anything to be more clear than what I've been dealing with.
The method that has been the most accurate for me is mucus testing. (BEWARE-This is the "all up in yo face TMI" I was speaking of). Most community posts that I've been stalking since my first mc say that as soon as you see "clear, egg-white discharge", it's GO-TIME. Unfortunately, sometimes you can't get a clear check of this when you wipe, so I've been having to get really creative while taking a potty break. Hence, the old-fashioned, 'stick your finger up there' version. Oh yes. This is happening, people. Let me give you a little background information on me and situations such as this.
In 2005 after my ovarian cyst removal, I become horrendously nauseous from the pain pills. The only way they could stop the nausea is...you guessed it...stick one of those things up your rear. After the initial immature laughter that occured after my Daddy brought home the whatever it is called from the drug store, I escaped to the bathroom to...insert. I couldn't bend over because of my cuts, so I had to awkwardly cock my leg up on the bathroom counter and hold a cosmetic mirror under the cookah area to figure out where to place it. Because I can't do anything seriously, this lasted all of 30 seconds. Mama and Mammaw were outside the bathroom door. Mama and I had the giggles, so nothing was getting accomplished. Finally, Mammaw said "ALRIGHT. I'll do it." And into the bathroom we went. Let me tell you, you never fully appreciate somebody until they are (voluntarily) face-to-face, shoving a piece of medicine up your 20 year old behind all in the name of making you feel better. And yes, I am still giggling over this 7 years later, yet it is a forbidden conversation with Mammaw.
I'm unsure how I feel about going on fertility drugs. If you didn't already know, I'm a high-risk case for twins. My mom is a twin and my maternal grandmother's father had twin siblings. Mike's family has twins as well, but if my research is correct, he really doesn't count. In addition to this, the percentage of twins increased after each miscarriage. The math is something like, after 1 miscarriage, I had a 70% chance of twins the next pregnancy. After the 2nd, it went up to 80%. However, it drops after a 3rd MC. The thought of this is hella-scary. Exciting, but frightening. Hopefully, drugs won't be needed since getting pregnant isn't really an issue. I'd just like to have 1 kid before 30, if possible. My aforementioned, enema-shoving grandma stopped having periods at 35, which really puts a damper on my plan...which is currently POP ONE OUT, THEN IMMEDIATELY TAKE MY GIRLY PARTS AWAY. My plan was always 3 kids, but heck, sometimes you just gotta take what you can get in life.
When my period started last week, I crazy-ladied it and burst into tears. We were ON POINT with the sex schedule last month and even did the "stick-it and flip-it" version. (For those of you who need a visual, it means guy on top missionary, then girl flips around and throws her legs up on the head board for 20 minutes to let gravity work its wonders.) I've been handling things really well but everybody gets worn down about things over time. Most of my emotions over this whole fiasco should be channeled into pure frustration, because in reality, that's all it is. This adventure started in August of 2011 and here it is, almost 2 years later, and the Peebles' are kidless. I have a list of names and I must have a child before somebody takes one and then I won't be able to use it! For example, PEYTON! CARTER! TRIPP! Ugh. We can't use a name that's already been used. I guess it comes from being named KRISTIN. Or MIKE.
Anyway, March is hopeful. We are trying til we get it right, and damn it, it WILL get right! I haven't lost much weight and I REFUSE to be fat the the beach this year unless I'm pregnant. Then, I can be fat and lazy and have a legit reason ;)
To catch you up and to get all up in yo face with TMI, I've had 2 spectacularly normal periods since December. As soon as my next period starts, I have to call the doc and schedule an appointment for re-evaluation. This will include him analyzing my temperature charts and sex/ovulation schedules. Since I am a seasoned expert in both of these things, I could easily give any OB-GYN a run for his or her money. However, I do have some complaints for the person who invented, created, or just imagined up these truly craptastic inventions or "conception theories". First, basal temperature charting is ridiculous and a complete a waste of time for the not-so math inclined. My charts look like the veins in the legs of my old music teacher from elementary school. If you had Mrs. Gee, YOU KNOW. You KNOW! There is no consistency. One n-th degree change makes my chart look like a map for the floor of the ocean with its hills, trenches, and flat plains. On top of that, the "jump" you are supposed to wait for happens only AFTER ovulation has occured!!! OMG. I need an inner GPS voice that tells me throughout the day in a crisp, clear British voice: "Ovulation occuring" or "Have sex in 1.5 to 24 hours" I'll even take a "Recalculating"--anything to be more clear than what I've been dealing with.
The method that has been the most accurate for me is mucus testing. (BEWARE-This is the "all up in yo face TMI" I was speaking of). Most community posts that I've been stalking since my first mc say that as soon as you see "clear, egg-white discharge", it's GO-TIME. Unfortunately, sometimes you can't get a clear check of this when you wipe, so I've been having to get really creative while taking a potty break. Hence, the old-fashioned, 'stick your finger up there' version. Oh yes. This is happening, people. Let me give you a little background information on me and situations such as this.
In 2005 after my ovarian cyst removal, I become horrendously nauseous from the pain pills. The only way they could stop the nausea is...you guessed it...stick one of those things up your rear. After the initial immature laughter that occured after my Daddy brought home the whatever it is called from the drug store, I escaped to the bathroom to...insert. I couldn't bend over because of my cuts, so I had to awkwardly cock my leg up on the bathroom counter and hold a cosmetic mirror under the cookah area to figure out where to place it. Because I can't do anything seriously, this lasted all of 30 seconds. Mama and Mammaw were outside the bathroom door. Mama and I had the giggles, so nothing was getting accomplished. Finally, Mammaw said "ALRIGHT. I'll do it." And into the bathroom we went. Let me tell you, you never fully appreciate somebody until they are (voluntarily) face-to-face, shoving a piece of medicine up your 20 year old behind all in the name of making you feel better. And yes, I am still giggling over this 7 years later, yet it is a forbidden conversation with Mammaw.
I'm unsure how I feel about going on fertility drugs. If you didn't already know, I'm a high-risk case for twins. My mom is a twin and my maternal grandmother's father had twin siblings. Mike's family has twins as well, but if my research is correct, he really doesn't count. In addition to this, the percentage of twins increased after each miscarriage. The math is something like, after 1 miscarriage, I had a 70% chance of twins the next pregnancy. After the 2nd, it went up to 80%. However, it drops after a 3rd MC. The thought of this is hella-scary. Exciting, but frightening. Hopefully, drugs won't be needed since getting pregnant isn't really an issue. I'd just like to have 1 kid before 30, if possible. My aforementioned, enema-shoving grandma stopped having periods at 35, which really puts a damper on my plan...which is currently POP ONE OUT, THEN IMMEDIATELY TAKE MY GIRLY PARTS AWAY. My plan was always 3 kids, but heck, sometimes you just gotta take what you can get in life.
When my period started last week, I crazy-ladied it and burst into tears. We were ON POINT with the sex schedule last month and even did the "stick-it and flip-it" version. (For those of you who need a visual, it means guy on top missionary, then girl flips around and throws her legs up on the head board for 20 minutes to let gravity work its wonders.) I've been handling things really well but everybody gets worn down about things over time. Most of my emotions over this whole fiasco should be channeled into pure frustration, because in reality, that's all it is. This adventure started in August of 2011 and here it is, almost 2 years later, and the Peebles' are kidless. I have a list of names and I must have a child before somebody takes one and then I won't be able to use it! For example, PEYTON! CARTER! TRIPP! Ugh. We can't use a name that's already been used. I guess it comes from being named KRISTIN. Or MIKE.
Anyway, March is hopeful. We are trying til we get it right, and damn it, it WILL get right! I haven't lost much weight and I REFUSE to be fat the the beach this year unless I'm pregnant. Then, I can be fat and lazy and have a legit reason ;)
Wow, I am touched by this blog! I had no idea and will pray that you and Mike have luck in the near future, you have the patience that a lot of people only dream about. I am 6 months from knocking on 30's door and two years ago was told I would not be able to have a child because of my heart valves not being strong enough so I could either have surgery to replace them, get a surrogate, or adopt. I had settled to adopt or have a surrogate until at last I started feeling awful and ended up having to have the surgery anyway. So viola here I am starting this whole calculation thing with ovulation, how long are the cycles and so forth....lets just say I do not think I am on a normal cycle still and its just annoying that for so long you try not to have a kid and when you want one it seems to never happen! So I wont be having a child by 30 (which was my intent) but hopefully during my year of being 30! Best of luck to you both and I am anxious to find out what March brings you! :-)
ReplyDeleteGood gracious, Robin!! Glad to see you're on the mend, but so sorry you are having to go through the stress of this mess. It's very comforting knowing that I'm not alone--that's the whole purpose of this blog! I can't believe how freaked out I used to be if I even remotely thought I was pregnant...now, I freak out for the exact opposite! The words 'normal' and 'cycle' haven't been in the same sentence for me for a long time now and THAT in itself is ridiculous. My mantra over the past few months has been "It's not about it potentially NOT happening, it's about WHEN it's happening". And of course, since I'm a roll-with-the-punches kinda girl, I'll cross that bridge when I get there if I'm told I can't. WE have to be the ones to stay positive, even though tears are on the verge whenever I even speak of this lately or when I see new pregnancy posts all over FB. It WILL happen...we just have to wait around for it until it does. Whether we're sane or not when it does happen is another story ;)
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