Can I just tell you about my kid for a second? We have a sectional sofa in the living room which is reeeeally hard to move. Luke has figured out that if you throw things in the little space between the wall and the sofa, it disappears and probably travels to the magical place in the dryer called "SOCK PLANET" or wherever it is that the 982,3749 bobby pins I've used since I was 16 are. He decided to unload his diapers in the little diaper caddy I have them in and drop them one by one behind the sofa. All the while, looking at me. He knows with every short "lift" of his arm, I get closer and closer to him because he knows what's coming. The arm lifts, the grin cracks his chubby little face, and BAM! he drops the diaper. I fuss, use the God-forsaken word "NO" about 18 times, and move him away. I go back to typing. I look, he's back on the sofa, standing, holding a diaper over the empty space. Again. The arm lifts, the grin cracks his chubby little face...I say, "Don't you EVEN THINK ABOUT IT"...and BAM! Down goes the diaper.
We've popped his rear, we've done time out. He's only one but he knows exactly what he's doing. All I can think is, "I WILL beat you one day, I WILL beat you one day". Then sounds a voice from across the room, the ever-present father who has watched the mother all but lose. her. shit. over a diaper drop...and it says, "YOU WANTED THIS!" And I can't utter a word--because he's SO right.
At what point does the urge to have another child kick in? We originally said we'd try for a second as soon as we could, preferably around Luke's birthday (September). But it's now...January. I've talked to sooo many parents about this. I've talked to the parents of only-children. I've talked to the parents of 2, 3, even 4 kids. Yet I'm so unsettled by it. The people I've mentioned to that 'I'm really happy with just one' have looked at me like I've grown a second head. They can't comprehend it. I'm all like, "before he turned into the 'I'm going to press every single button you ever THOUGHT about having' child, having one has been just delightful". I had an easy pregnancy. We transitioned from phase to phase in the first year with no problems and Luke is perfectly healthy.
Having gone months now with putting so much thought and discussion into this, Mike and I have boiled this down to two hangups. The first one is...nothing, and I mean NOTHING, hurt me as badly when I was going through miscarriage after miscarriage and then through IVF, as people who already had a child complaining about how difficult it was to have a second. For years, I just wanted one. Just one! To hear people publicly talking about their struggle for a second or third was pure torture. I could not fathom how they could be so selfish about the second when they already had what I craved for. Why couldn't they just be happy with what they had?! This is something I'm struggling with now...the fact that I'll be putting a ton of work into getting a second baby when I already have what I prayed for. And so many are still out there praying for a Luke. It sucks.
The second thing is...the money. Guys, IVF isn't hundreds. It's THOUSANDS. Plural. Lots of them. Granted, we've done the biggest part and most costly of the procedure, but in order to do it again, I'd have to pay for the embryo transfer, the medicines and shots I have to take a month in advance, plus all the doctors appointments and ultrasounds. Did I mention thousands?
If we were to base this decision on money alone, this wouldn't even be a discussion. Nada. HOWEVER. Don't tell me I can't do something. My fallopian tubes learned THAT lesson the hard way! I spent many months thinking about ways to pay for our 2nd round with IVF. There just isn't a way to come up with that kind of cash unless you're talking about loans or criminal activity. Since we are a family of cops and teachers, they frown upon that sort of thing. I wanted something that would continue to benefit us even if it worked and we had another successful pregnancy. Enter, LuLaRoe.
I am a full-time career type of girl. I have to work. It's just in my nature. And if it means I need to provide more for us, then I need to do something that will. Even if I have to work full-time after my full-time.
I've mentioned the hangups that are hanging us up but I haven't mentioned the one thing that takes precedence over all of the hangups. When the doctors combined my eggs with Mike's sperm, we made eleven embryos (aka potential babies). We transferred two the first time and got one baby. That means we have nine on ice. NINE. Some people barely make two. There is a reason why I have nine on ice and I feel like we owe it to Luke to see what becomes of them. I can't dwell on the embryos because they aren't here with me, but I can dwell on Luke. And I feel like two toddlers, standing on the back of a sofa, giving me shit-eating grins while dumping stuff behind the sofa into the abyss might just be worth it. This is my LuLaRoe "WHY".
We've popped his rear, we've done time out. He's only one but he knows exactly what he's doing. All I can think is, "I WILL beat you one day, I WILL beat you one day". Then sounds a voice from across the room, the ever-present father who has watched the mother all but lose. her. shit. over a diaper drop...and it says, "YOU WANTED THIS!" And I can't utter a word--because he's SO right.
At what point does the urge to have another child kick in? We originally said we'd try for a second as soon as we could, preferably around Luke's birthday (September). But it's now...January. I've talked to sooo many parents about this. I've talked to the parents of only-children. I've talked to the parents of 2, 3, even 4 kids. Yet I'm so unsettled by it. The people I've mentioned to that 'I'm really happy with just one' have looked at me like I've grown a second head. They can't comprehend it. I'm all like, "before he turned into the 'I'm going to press every single button you ever THOUGHT about having' child, having one has been just delightful". I had an easy pregnancy. We transitioned from phase to phase in the first year with no problems and Luke is perfectly healthy.
Having gone months now with putting so much thought and discussion into this, Mike and I have boiled this down to two hangups. The first one is...nothing, and I mean NOTHING, hurt me as badly when I was going through miscarriage after miscarriage and then through IVF, as people who already had a child complaining about how difficult it was to have a second. For years, I just wanted one. Just one! To hear people publicly talking about their struggle for a second or third was pure torture. I could not fathom how they could be so selfish about the second when they already had what I craved for. Why couldn't they just be happy with what they had?! This is something I'm struggling with now...the fact that I'll be putting a ton of work into getting a second baby when I already have what I prayed for. And so many are still out there praying for a Luke. It sucks.
The second thing is...the money. Guys, IVF isn't hundreds. It's THOUSANDS. Plural. Lots of them. Granted, we've done the biggest part and most costly of the procedure, but in order to do it again, I'd have to pay for the embryo transfer, the medicines and shots I have to take a month in advance, plus all the doctors appointments and ultrasounds. Did I mention thousands?
If we were to base this decision on money alone, this wouldn't even be a discussion. Nada. HOWEVER. Don't tell me I can't do something. My fallopian tubes learned THAT lesson the hard way! I spent many months thinking about ways to pay for our 2nd round with IVF. There just isn't a way to come up with that kind of cash unless you're talking about loans or criminal activity. Since we are a family of cops and teachers, they frown upon that sort of thing. I wanted something that would continue to benefit us even if it worked and we had another successful pregnancy. Enter, LuLaRoe.
I am a full-time career type of girl. I have to work. It's just in my nature. And if it means I need to provide more for us, then I need to do something that will. Even if I have to work full-time after my full-time.
I've mentioned the hangups that are hanging us up but I haven't mentioned the one thing that takes precedence over all of the hangups. When the doctors combined my eggs with Mike's sperm, we made eleven embryos (aka potential babies). We transferred two the first time and got one baby. That means we have nine on ice. NINE. Some people barely make two. There is a reason why I have nine on ice and I feel like we owe it to Luke to see what becomes of them. I can't dwell on the embryos because they aren't here with me, but I can dwell on Luke. And I feel like two toddlers, standing on the back of a sofa, giving me shit-eating grins while dumping stuff behind the sofa into the abyss might just be worth it. This is my LuLaRoe "WHY".
I love this! And it's a wonderful LuLa why! Thanks for the chuckles while I read this. I can just picture sweet Luke dropping those diapers and grinning the entire time.
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